Pure Insanity
by TraceAce
Summary: Didja ever wonder what would happen if three FF.net writers decided to kidnap wrestlers and make them do interviews? Well look no further! LMAO. ^^;
1. Rob Van Dam

**Pure Insanity – Rob Van Dam**

**Disclaimer: **I own myself, Felicia owns herself, and Sarah owns nothing (LMAO, sorry, I couldn't help in Mickey! –snickers..gets bopped in the head..falls over-). All the WWF stars are owned by Vince McMahon..yep.

**A/N:** This is what happens if me (TraceAce), Felicia (The Angel), and Sarah (Stone Cold Sarah) ever got to interview wrestlers..LMAO.

-The camera fades on and a big ol' face is really up close to it.-

Tracey: This thing on?

Sarah: Hey! Be careful with that! It cost 25 bucks!

Felicia: 25 bucks?

-The girl, Tracey, moves away from the camera to show a little room with chairs and all along with two other girls-

Sarah: Yeah. I mean, this is ghetto Clifton, afterall.

Felicia: Ooh. –nods-

Tracey: Are the interviewees ready?

Sarah: -nods- Of course!

Felicia: Does Clifton condone kidnapping people too?

Tracey: -grins- When they have to.

-Both Tracey and Sarah snicker at this, as Felicia rolls her eyes-

Felicia: FIRST PERSON!

-Suddenly the door bursts open and a man is thrown in, hog-tied. Upon closer inspection, it turns out this man is RVD, and he seems perfectly calm about being tied up. The door slams shut behind them-

Tracey: R-V-D!!!

-As Tracey says this, RVD tries to do his hand gesture, but finds himself unable to. He whimpers-

Sarah: Aw, you're torturing him!

Tracey: -giggles- RVD!

-Tracey continues to laugh as he wiggles to do his gesture. Sarah and Felicia both roll their eyes and untie him. He stands up, quickly doing the gesture twice.-

Felicia: There's got to be a medical word for that.

Sarah: Yeah. Drugs.

-RVD saunters to a chair, picks it up and puts it near another chair. He does a split in between them-

Tracey: Welcome to the interview, RVD!

-He does the gesture forcefully, forgetting he isn't tied up anymore, and ends up hitting himself in the sides of his head-

Tracey: -snicker-

RVD: ..Cool.

Felicia: What are these interviews again?

Sarah: For the school TV station.

Felicia: -confused- But neither of you have a show—

Tracey & Sarah: SO!

Tracey: You don't even go to our school, so hah!

Felicia: Good point. Oh well! Here we go.

RVD: -blank look-

-RVD continues to do his split between the chairs. However, again on the fact how ghetto Clifton is, one chair collapses and he falls off-

RVD: ….

Sarah: You all right?

RVD: I'm fine, 'cause I'm—

Felicia: ALL RIGHT! I think we had enough of the hand thing, thanks.

RVD: -Shrugs- Whatever.

-Sarah, Felicia, and Tracey sit down on three of the remaining chairs as RVD remains on the floor, stretching again-

Tracey: Uh..you can use the other chair, you know.

RVD: Naw, it's cool.

Felicia: -rolls eyes- Thanks for coming here today, RV—erm..Rob.

RVD: -shrugs-

Sarah: -whispers to Tracey- How'd you get them to sit here so willingly?

Tracey: -grins and whispers to Sarah- I told them all if they didn't cooperate, I'd make them all watch Barney for 3 days. But I think Rob's doesn't care either way.

Sarah: -nods, understanding- Chill pills.

RVD: -perks up- Chill pills?

Felicia: Ahem. No chill pills, Rob.

RVD: -visibly disappointed- Oh.

Felicia: Anyway, we're just going to ask you a few questions.

RVD: ..Whatever.

Sarah: -takes out notes- All right, first question—

Tracey: -pouts- I WANNA ASK HIM!

Sarah: -to Tracey- Hells no, bitch! –to RVD- First question..what's your favorite food?

RVD: Pizza.

Tracey: -blinks- Pizza?

RVD: -nods- Yep.

Tracey: -shakes head- Uh..oo! Second question! What's your sign?

RVD: -grins widely- R-V-D! –does the hand motions-

Tracey: No no..not your initial signs..I mean, like, your birthday sign.

RVD: -blank look-

Felicia: Maybe we should move on. Third question. If you were any animal in the world, what would you be?

RVD: A dragon.

Tracey: ..Any reason why?

RVD: -shrugs- No.

Felicia: -deadpan- No reason at all?

RVD: -shrugs- Nope.

Sarah: ..Anyway..next question! Does all the stretches and jumps and total beatings of your body day in and out get tiring?

RVD: ..It's cool.

Tracey: ..Right. Um—here's one! Can we have some chill pills?

-Tracey and Sarah look at him expectantly as Felicia shakes her head-

RVD: I don't have any.

Tracey: -looks disappointed- Oh. Uh..oh, wait, here's a real question. How does it feel to have so many fans?

RVD: -shrugs- It's—

Felicia: -finishing for him- Cool, right?

RVD: -nods- How'd you know? You psychic or something?

Felicia: -sarcastically, but upbeat- Just a guess.

RVD: -nods- ..Whatever.

Felicia: Anyway! If Vince McMahon made you kiss his ass, would you?

RVD: -makes a face- No way.

Sarah: -giggles and whispers to Tracey- He's never been that high.

-RVD looks blank as Tracey, Felicia (who overheard the whisper) and Sarah burst into giggles-

RVD: -shrugs and switches legs in his stretch-

Sarah: What's it like beating Austin?

RVD: -begins to open his mouth to speak-

Tracey: -interrupts him- It's cool, right?

RVD: -beams and nods-

Tracey: -to Felicia in a whisper- I think his answers are a bit repetitive.

Felicia: ..And you figured this out how late?

Tracey: -shrugs- Um—next—if you could have any girl in the business, who would it be?

RVD: -looks as if he's thinking- Molly!

-All three give him shocked looks. RVD shrugs-

RVD: ..She's the only girl I know.

Tracey: ..What about Stephanie?

RVD: ..She's a girl?

-All three interviews start to giggle as RVD remains blank-

Sarah: Word association time! All you have to do is tell the first thing that pops into your head.

RVD: ..Whatever.

Sarah: The Rock.

RVD: ..Cool.

Felicia: Stephanie McMahon-Hemsley.

RVD: ..Cool.

Tracey: -blinks- Uh..Austin?

RVD: What.

Tracey: I said Austin.

RVD: -annoyed- What.

Tracey: -annoyed too- AUSTIN!

RVD: ..What.

Tracey: -twitches-

Felicia: Uh..I think he means the first thing he thinks of when he hears Austin is 'what'.

Tracey: What?

RVD: -nods- What!

Tracey: ..What?

RVD: What.

Sarah: -jumps up- WE GET THE POINT!

RVD: -shrugs- ..Whatever.

Sarah: -sits down, calmed- Regal.

RVD: -grinning- Butt face.

-Sarah, Felicia, and Tracey give him blank looks. He shrugs-

RVD: ..What?

Felicia: Don't start that again—

RVD: -shrugs- Whatever.

Tracey: Last word association. Hardcore.

RVD: -does hand motions- Rob Van Dam!

Felicia: ..All right, that's the last of it. You can go now, Rob.

RVD: -stands and shrugs- ..Whatever.

Tracey: RVD!

RVD: -does his hand motions instinctively-

Tracey: -laughs-

Sarah and Felicia: ….

-RVD sways out, and Felicia closes the door behind him-

Felicia: Well that was fun! How many more to go?

Tracey: Enough! –beams-

Sarah: I hope we don't have to pay for that. –points to the broken chair-

Tracey: Think they'll believe us if we say a wrestler that does splits between chairs and takes chill pills broke it?

Sarah: In this school? Of course!

Felicia: -giggles-

-Tracey walks to the camera, looking into it-

Tracey: End interview one! –reaches over and seems to turn something.-

-The camera fades out-


	2. Raven

**Pure Insanity – Raven**

-The camera fades on and the trio is seen again-

Sarah: …and then one time, Raven..

Felicia: -looking at the clipboard- Uh..Tracey..we have a problem.

Tracey: -nodding, pretending to listen to Sarah who is still rambling on-

Felicia: TRACEY!!

Tracey: -looks at Felicia, snapping out of her daze- ..Huh?

Sarah: -continues to talk, not noticing that no one is listening-

-Felicia pulls Tracey to the other side of the room-

Tracey: What is it?

Felicia: -in a whisper- Take a look at this.

-Tracey takes the clipboard and looks. On it the list of the wrestlers are there.

RVD's name is crossed off, and under it..-

Tracey: RAVEN'S NEXT?!

Sarah: -perks up- ..Raven?

Felicia: -still whispering- I told them not to kidnap him, but..

Tracey: Can't we just—hey, where's Sarah?

-The two girls look and realize she is nowhere to be found, but the door is now open. A muffled scream sounds out and suddenly Sarah walks in, dragging a squirming Raven behind-

Felicia & Tracey: ……

Raven: -muffled- Let me go!

Sarah: -beaming- I made a bible for you!

Raven, Felicia, & Tracey: ……

Tracey: -to Raven who is now being bear hugged- ..She's not let out much

-Tracey sighs loudly and with Felicia's help manages to untie Raven, who quickly moves away from Sarah. With a nod between them, Felicia and Tracey quickly tie up Sarah, who fights back but ultimately ends up lying on the ground, arms and legs tied-

Sarah: -squirms- I LOVE YOU!

Raven: -blinks-

Felicia: Excuse our friend Mr..uh..Raven.

Tracey: -nods- She's not well.

Sarah: I HAVE A SHIRT WITH YOU ON IT!

Raven: -ignores her- Let's get this infernal interview over with.

Sarah: -sighs dreamily-

Felicia: Uh..anyway..first question. What's your favorite color? –turns to Tracey- ..That's way too obvious.

Tracey: -shrugs- I didn't even know he was coming, give me a break.

Raven: -annoyed- It's black. The color of the darkness in society's soul.

Tracey & Felicia: -blink-

Sarah: -squeals- So true! So true!

Tracey & Felicia: …….

Tracey: Anyway..erm..

Sarah: -Interrupting- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA GO OUT WITH MOLLY?!

Tracey: -groans-

Raven: One day she will be mine.

Tracey: -under breath- Yeah, because you have so many charming qualities.

Felicia: -giggles, as she heard what Tracey said-

Sarah: -didn't hear it- If you decide you don't like her anymore you can have me!! I'm kosher!

Felicia, Tracey, & Raven: ……

Sarah: -beaming- We're only 21 years apart!

Raven: -coughs- Uh..I'll keep that in mind.

Tracey: -to Felicia in a whisper- She can even catch Raven off guard. I think he forgot his big words.

Felicia: -giggles-

Tracey: -sighs and rolls her eyes- Why a raven? Why not a crow?

Raven: -shrugs- A raven signifies the fear and pain that people mistake for happiness. Happiness is a mask to hide the weakness inside.

Tracey & Felicia: -blank look-

Sarah: -sniffs- That was so beautiful.

Tracey: -whispers to Felicia- Did that make sense to you?

Felicia: -shakes head no-

Sarah: I can be a Jewish princess!

Raven: ……..

Felicia: -ignores Sarah- Who do you like working with?

Raven: I'm a loner. Friendship is just an excuse for betrayal. The only person I can trust is myself.

Sarah: YOU CAN TRUST ME!

Felicia: -turns to Tracey- Don't you have a gag?

Tracey: -shakes head no- I don't want her to have the pleasure of having the gag that was gagging Raven.

Sarah: HEY! BITCH!

Felicia: ..I think we'd better rap this up.

Raven: -rolls eyes-

Tracey: All right, then we do word association.

Sarah: MOLLY!

Raven: -takes that as a question- My unholy queen.

Felicia and Tracey: -blinks-

Sarah: SEE!!!

Felicia: -coughs- Vince McMahon.

Raven: A power-hungry mad man who has so much fake admiration it's sickening.

Tracey: Rob Van Dam?

Raven: A surfer-like idiot who has had one two hits in his misshapen head.

Felicia: -rubbing her temples- All right, that's the end of the interview. –under breath- Thank god.

Sarah: -whimpers-

Raven: -stands- It's about time.

-Just as he is about to leave, Sarah breaks her ropes and stands up. Felicia and Tracey stare, mouth gaping, as she chases him out the door, screaming 'RAVEN RAVEN! DON'T GO!'-

Tracey: Next time, make sure he isn't taken.

Felicia: -nods quietly- No problem here. –pauses- ..Shouldn't we help him?

Tracey: Naw. Let her chase him.Maybe she'll get her obsession out of her system.

Felicia: -smirks- Not likely.

Tracey: One could hope.

-Tracey walks over to the camera again and reaches out of view, switching something. Instantly the screen shut off-


	3. Jeff Hardy

**Pure Insanity – Jeff Hardy**

**Special Guest Interviewer: **Voodoo Fighting Weasel****

-The camera fades on to show the three girls again (seeing a pattern? LoL.). Felicia is sitting on a chair, facing a heavily panting Sarah. Tracey moves away from the camera and turns her back to it, looking in Sarah's direction-

Felicia: You all right?

Sarah: -still breathing heavily-

Tracey: Let her catch her breath. She just ran across down chasing him.

Felicia: How'd he get away?

Tracey: -shrugs-

Sarah: -cries at the thought of losing him, even though she can barely breath all ready-

Tracey & Felicia: ……

Tracey: -pats her back and rolls her eyes- There there.

Sarah: -sniffs- Thanks. –sits in a chair, still trying to catch her breath-

Felicia: So..who's next?

Tracey: I dunno, let's see.

-Tracey walks over to the clipboard, which was placed on the ground. She picks it up, looking at the list. Raven's name is now crossed off on it along with RVD. Under their names is the name 'Jeff Hardy'. Instantly Tracey looks even more panicked then when she found out Raven was next.-

Sarah: Yeah, who's next?

Tracey: -quickly- Uhh..uh..

Felicia: Lemme see.

-before Tracey could pull away, Felicia grabs it. She looks at the clipboard and squeals loudly, running out-

Tracey: ……

-Sarah picks it up and instantly goes into her wrestler groupie mode as well, following Felicia-

Tracey: …Sigh. I need new friends.

-The two easily carry in what seems to be a frightened looking Jeff Hardy, who is actually untied. He just seems to surprised at the fact two girls just picked his body up and dragged him in-

Tracey: Put down poor Jeff Hardy!

Felicia: -pout- But—

Tracey: -taps foot impatiently- Now.

Sarah: -pouts too, but lets him down gently with Felicia-

-Jeff instantly stands, moving away from the two girls, who were looking like they were stalking him like he was some sort of prey-

Tracey: -rubs temples- Two in a row. Who's idea was this?

Jeff: -fearfully- Hey..uh..girl..you're normal right? Can you tell them not to look at me like they're going to kill me?

Tracey: Oh, don't worry. They both love you. So they'll kill you in a nice death.

Jeff: -whimpers-

Tracey: -grinning- Kidding. Felicia, Sarah, sit down so we can get the interview over with.

Felicia: ..But I don't want it to..

Sarah: Me neither..

Tracey: …You can hear him talk…

Felicia & Sarah: GASP!!!

-The two quickly sit down like little angels-

Tracey: …Anyway, have a seat, Mr. Hardy.

Jeff: -a little calmer- All right. –he sits down on one of the other chairs-

Tracey: Let's get this interview over with quickly, huh?

Sarah & Felicia: -whimpers-

Jeff: Sounds good to me. –flashes a smile-

Tracey: Since my friends are both in some sort of comatose state, I'll ask the first question. What does it feel like having all the female fans you have?

Jeff: Well, it's great. Everyone is –he glances at Felicia and Sarah who are hanging on his every word- usually really nice and treat me well.

Sarah: -swoons- I love you, Jeff.

Felicia: NO! I LOVE YOU MORE!

-Tracey and Jeff watch wordlessly as Sarah and Felicia have a cat fight in the middle of the room-

Jeff: ...Aren't you going to break it up…?

Tracey: And miss this action? Are you nuts?

Jeff: …That's a good point.

Tracey: Of course it is. Just ignore them, they'll go away eventually.

Jeff: -nods, understanding-

-Tracey turns to face Jeff again, pretending not to notice Sarah and Felicia still fighting over who likes Jeff more-

Tracey: Let's see—the major question right now is your relationship with your brother.

Jeff: -sits back- Matt's always in my business, and I'm sort of sick and tired of it. Acting like he owns me. It's enough to make me real mad.

Tracey: I know exactly how it is. I have an older sister myself.

Felicia: -stops fighting for a second- I KNOW TOO! SHE DOESN'T! SHE'S AN EVIL…-quickly gets pulled back into the fight-

Tracey & Jeff: …

Jeff: Your friends aren't on medication, are they?

Tracey: I wonder sometimes.

Jeff: -nods, understanding-

Tracey: Are you and Matt going to go your separate ways?

Jeff: Who knows? I mean, I'm sure we'd both benefit from an arrangement like that, if even it was only for a little while. 

Tracey: -pauses- You know, I need someone else to help me with this interview. Excuse me a second.

-Jeff nods, and Tracey walks past him and out the door. Felicia and Sarah stop to look what she's doing. Suddenly she walks in, dragging Voodoo Fighting Weasel, or VF for short, into the room. She stands up, looking confused-

VF: -scratches head- Where am I?

Tracey: Hey VF! Welcome to the interview files!

VF: The what what?

Tracey: You know, I kidnapped wrestlers with my friends and now I'm interviewing them.

VF: -understands- Ooh. Cool!

Tracey: But the other two—

-Tracey gestures toward Sarah and Felicia, who had started their fight again-

VF: Oo! So you need my help?

Tracey: Well, you're the only one who doesn't go all drooly with Jeff.

VF: Jeff? –turns and suddenly notices the blue hair- Oh. That Hardy guy.

Felicia & Sarah: WHAT?!

-Both girls stop to stare wide-mouthed at VF and her lack of enthusiasm with seeing Jeff. They actually jump her. She squeals and tries to get away-

Tracey: -turns to Jeff- Can I borrow one of your arm things?

Jeff: -shrugs- Sure. –takes one off and puts it in her hand-

Tracey: Thanks, I appreciate it. –suddenly dangles it- Oo! Lookit girls! Lookit what I got!

-Sarah and Felicia quickly see the item and leave VF alone-

Tracey: Go get it!

-Tracey throws it to another corner of the room and the scuffle between them begins again. Jeff helps VF up, who looks dazed-

VF: Ow.

Tracey: They'll be busy for a while. –nods to them as they continue fighting over it-

VF: -mumbles- Good. –more upbeat- So! What do I gotta do?

Tracey: Ask a question.

VF: That it?

Tracey: Yeah. It's amazing how something so simple seems to be getting so many good reviews.

VF: People are easily amused.

Tracey: Don't I know it! Give me a quarter and I can play with it for hours.

VF: -chuckles-

Jeff: -sits, amazed at how one little item can have two girls fighting as much as Felicia and Sarah are- I wonder what would happen if I threw in my hat—

Tracey: Wouldn't try it, Jeff. They might get a little crazy on us.

Jeff: Understood. –grins-

VF: Can I ask a question now? –excited-

Tracey: Sure thing.

VF: Ok—um—what singles title would you want to have if you and that icky Matt guy broke up?

Jeff: Any title is good, but I'm really looking to end RVD's reign.

VF: He's gonna kick your ass.

Tracey: …

Jeff: …Well, I'll get a few scratches on him too.

VF: -shrugs and sits down-

Tracey: Right. Ne—

VF: What's it like knowing you beat up poor innocent Spike Dudley!?

Jeff: …Huh?

VF: Don't play innocent with me!

Jeff: But—

VF: You hurt SPIKE! You beat him!

Jeff: But—

VF: -sniffles, looking mad- He didn't do nothing to you!

Jeff: It wasn't anything personal.

VF: Yes it was.

Jeff: No it wasn't.

VF: Yes it WAS.

Jeff: No it WASN'T.

VF: YES IT—

Tracey: All right, it's been nice seeing ya VF, call ya back when Spike's back on.

-Tracey quickly takes VF out, who is still steaming-

Jeff: I hope that was the last question. My head hurts.

Tracey: As does mine. I would say this would be time for word association, but I think I've had enough questions with you for an interview. Thanks for—uh—well, thanks.

Jeff: No problem. –waves- Bye girls.

-Felicia and Sarah turn at the same time. They gasp, seeing that he's leaving, and quickly take chase. Tracey watches them zoom by-

Tracey: Wonder how long it'll take for the wrestler to get away this time.

-Tracey moves to the camera, turning it off. The camera fades to black-


	4. Kane

**Pure Insanity – Kane**

**Special Guest Interviewer: **Satin Frost AKA Kitten

-The camera fades on to a now pathetic looking trio. Sarah and Felicia look like they have been through the jungle, stray leaves up in their hair, scrapes on their exposed arms and face. Tracey surveys them, shaking her head in amusement-

Tracey: So what happened AFTER you chased him through the bushes?

Felicia: -mournfully- Some strange guy in a limo opened the door on the other side and he ran in and drove away.

Sarah: It's like he was scared of us.

Felicia: Which of course is impossible.

Tracey: -still amused- Of course.

Felicia: Oh well. –sighs- One day I will be Mrs. Hardy.

Tracey: …As much as I'm glad you have a goal in life, Felicia…

Sarah: You're lucky I'm marrying Raven, or I'd totally go after Jeff in that way.

Felicia: -ignores Sarah- You were saying something, Tracey?

Tracey: -rolls eyes- Nothing, nothing at all.

Felicia: So who's next?

Tracey: -under breath- I'm sure it'll be the Rock or someone of that annoyance category.

Sarah: -heard her- Rocky's not annoying! He has a nice behind!

Tracey: …I need new sidekicks…

Sarah: Who says I'm your sidekick, bitch?

Tracey: -rubs temple-

-Felicia gets up, grabbing the list. She sits back in her chair, biting the pen's top lightly as she glances over the list. Now three names are crossed off for the people all ready interviewed, and under those names the name 'Kane' is written-

Tracey: Who's up next?

Felicia: -yawns- Kane.

Sarah: MY FIREKITTY?!

Tracey & Felicia: …

Tracey: Do you mark out for everyone?

Sarah: NO! I don't for X-Pac, that Italian Gre—

Tracey: HEY!

Sarah: Well he IS.

Tracey: -glare-

Sarah: -glares right back-

-Felicia sits and watches the two glare at each other. After 5 minutes, she finally seems to have had it and breaks up the glare fight-

Felicia: We have work to do!

Sarah: -glares- She started it!

Tracey: -mumbles something under breath-

Sarah: What was that?

Tracey: -innocent look- Nothing.

Felicia: -breaking into the fight- Bring in Kane!

-Almost on cue, the door suddenly opens and Kane approaches the door-

Tracey: Watch your…

-Kane smacks his head into the door frame. He grabs ahold of his head in pain.

Felicia: …head.

-Kane sighs loudly, ducking down to enter the room. On his arms are ripped pieces of rope. Even though it seemed he broke the bonds he had traveled in, he seemed more or less docile-

Tracey: -looks up- You know, he's—uh—actually taller then I imagined.

Felicia: -hides behind Tracey-

Kane: …

Sarah: MY FIREKITTY! –squeals-

Kane: …-blinks and tilts his head toward Sarah, looking as confused as he could for a guy in a mask-

Tracey: Uh—you can have a seat…Mr. Kane…

-Kane shrugs and sits down on one of the little folding chairs in the room. The chair, not used to all the weight that Kane has, quickly breaks-

Kane: …

Tracey: You all right?

Kane: -shrugs-

Felicia: -whispers to Tracey- Talkative, isn't he?

Tracey: -shushes her quickly-

Kane: -stands up and looks at the twisted broken metal that used to be a chair- …Sorry.

Tracey: -quickly- Oh, it's no problem. You can break as many chairs as you want…

Felicia: -nods-

Kane: -blinks-

Felicia: Maybe we should…well…do this interview.

Tracey: -to Kane- If that's all right with you.

Kane: -shrugs-

Tracey: Right then…first question…

Sarah: Wanna be my pet?!

Kane: -blinks, tilts his head- …

Felicia & Tracey: -groans-

Kane: Why is your friend on my leg?

Tracey: -looks down and sees Sarah has latched herself around his ankle-

Sarah: TAKE ME WITH YOU!

Tracey & Felicia: …

Kane: -under breath- First Vince makes me go to that weird psychiatrist…now this…

Tracey: -perks up- DUDE! I have an idea!

-Felicia, Kane, and Sarah watch her zoom out of the room-

Girl (off screen): Gimme the crayons, Tajiri!

Tajiri (also O.S.): -jabbers angrily in Japanese-

Girl (O.S.): HAH! Got 'em!

Tracey (O.S.): Good job!

-Felicia and Sarah blink, confused. Kane, however, looks panicked. Suddenly a girl walks in with Tracey behind, crayons and a coloring book in hand. She smiles widely-

Girl: COOKIE!

Kane: -squeals and hides behind Felicia…or tries to…dragging Sarah along with him-

Sarah: DUDE! It's Kitten!

Kitten: ^_^ Hi everyone.

Tracey: -nods- Kitten knows how to get Kane talking.

Kitten: -giggles- Cookie…

Kane: -whimpers-

Kitten: I have your favorite coloring book! –waves it enticingly.

-Kane perks up at this and makes a grab for it. She pulls it back and he misses it. He pouts.-

Sarah: …I think I'm getting rug burn…

Kitten: No coloring until you answer Tracey's questions.

Kane: -quickly sits down like a good little boy…the leg that Sarah is still attached to jutting out, as she still hasn't let go-

Kitten: ^_^ There ya go!

Tracey: Thanks! –turns to Kane- All right, Kane, first question—

Sarah: Can I color too?!

Kitten: ;;

Kane: -glare- No! All mine!

Sarah: -big pouty lip-

Kitten: And I thought I was nuts. ^_^;;

Sarah: Hey! Remember who's the guest star and thus expendable here!

Kitten: Eep! –hushes up-

Tracey: …It's amazing how it's all ready halfway through the interview and all we've been doing is fighting…

Felicia: -grins- Innit?

Tracey: -quickly before Sarah can get in the way of her question again- How does it feel to be a…fire kitty? –blank look- Hey, these aren't my questions!

Sarah: -whistles innocently-

Tracey: Sarah, where are my questions?

Sarah: -tries to hide what looks like a ball behind her- What do you mean?

Tracey: -reads down list of her questions- Do you want to be Jewish too? Can't you give me at least one good question?

Kitten: O_o …Jewish…?

Felicia: -quietly to Kitten- Don't ask.

Kitten: …Kay.

Sarah: Number 16!

Tracey: -looks at list- …If you had a choice between Sarah and Sarah, who would you choose? –deadpan- Very normal.

Sarah: -beams- I know!

Tracey: -deadpan- Give me my list back.

Sarah: -whimpers- No! Mine is better!

Tracey: Now.

Sarah: No.

Tracey: If you don't I won't finish my Molly/Raven trilogy. –smiles wickedly-

Sarah: -gasps in horror- You wouldn't!

Tracey: Oh, I would. I would.

Kitten: ^_^ -to Felicia in a whisper- She knows how to get people to listen to her too, huh?

Felicia: -nods- Oh yeah.

Sarah: -grudgingly hands over the crumpled up piece of paper- -plots her death-

Tracey: -uncrumples it- Thanks!

Sarah: -sulks and glares-

Kane: -whimpers- Coloring…

Tracey: -squints and reads the messed up paper- Why do you like red so much?

Sarah: Oh, like that's any better of a question.

Tracey: Wait a second, this isn't mine either! Felicia!

Felicia: -innocent look, quickly taking her hand out of her pocket that now looks like something is in it- What?

Tracey: …My head hurts.

-While Kitten is watching the drama unfolding with the missing questions, Kane suddenly sneaks up and grabs the crayons and coloring book from her hands. She yelps in surprise as he giggles gleefully and starts coloring-

Kitten: O_O;;; Hey!

Felicia, Sarah, Tracey: -looks up from their fight-

Kane: -colors in Big Bird-

Kitten: …

Tracey: Finally! –takes the questions from Felicia- Do you like your brother?

Kane: -looks like he's in a trance as he colors- …

Kitten: ;; Once he gets the book he won't even answer. Silly Cookie.

Tracey: -groans- Say WHAT?

Kitten: ^_^ I didn't say what, Austin does!

Sarah: Yeah!

Tracey: I meant…nevermind.

Kitten: Kay. ^_^;;

Felicia: Maybe if you take it away from him he'll talk.

Kitten: Good idea! –walks over and snatches it from him-

Kane: -looks up and growls- YOU MADE ME COLOR OUTSIDE THE LINES!

Kitten: Eep! –gulps-

Kane: -stands up, looking pissed-

Felicia, Kitten, Tracey, and Sarah: O_O

Sarah: -whispers to Kitten- I think you made him mad.

Felicia: SHE DID IT! NOT US!

-Kane chases Kitten out the room-

Kitten (O.C.): Here Satan! Have a coloring book!

Tazz (O.C.): -muffled- I'm not Satan!

Kane (O.C.): DIE!

-Various screams are heard outside, then after a minute it dies down-

Tracey: -quietly- Cross Tazz off the list too.

Felicia: -nods solemnly-

-Sarah walks over and turns the camera off. The screen fades to black-


	5. Chris Jericho

**Pure Insanity – Chris Jericho**

-the camera fades on, though there is only a glimpse of Tracey leaving the room-

Tracey (O.S.): Look at the mess Kane made!

Felicia: (O.S.): …I hope your school understands about the window…

Sarah (O.S.): Oh, don't worry about it. We'll just blame it on a ghetto kid fight.

Tracey: (O.S.): Sounds like a plan.

Felicia: (O.S.): Wonder if Kitten got out all right.

Tracey (O.S.): I think we should worry more about Tazz. I don't think he'll be announcing anytime soon.

Sarah (O.S.): -smirks- Not until he comes out of his coma, anyway.

-footsteps are heard and the three girls walk into the room-

Sarah: You turn on the camera yet?

Tracey: -nods-

Felicia: I think we should cut out the screams from the last tape.

Tracey: -grinning- Don't worry about it. The kids at our school are used to fights and pain.

Sarah: -laughs-

Felicia: …If you say so.

Sarah: -giggles- Wouldn't it be funny if Kane's running around attacking innocent children and taking their coloring books? Heehee, he's so cute.

Felicia & Tracey: …

Sarah: -beams-

Felicia: Who's the next wrestler?

Tracey: -rubs temples- If it's the Rock I think I'm going to jump out the broken window.

Sarah: -giggles gleefully- And I can finally control this show! Mwahaha!

Tracey: -deadpan- Right. Like that'll happen.

Sarah: -pout-

Tracey: I'd rather let Felicia take over.

Felicia: -beams-

Sarah: -death glare-

-Tracey grabs the checklist and looks it over. Kane's name is crossed off it-

Tracey: -noticing this- I didn't even ask him one question…

-She looks under it and immediately brightens-

Tracey: JERICHO!

-Before Felicia and Sarah can say anything, Tracey zips out-

Sarah: -blinks- …Jericho

Felicia: Oh god…

-Loud muffled cries of help sound out. Off camera, Tracey giggles gleefully and the sound of dragging is heard. Suddenly she appears again on camera, dragging Jericho behind her. His hands and legs are tied, his mouth gagged-

Tracey: It's Jericho! –points-

Felicia & Sarah: …

Sarah: -whispers to Felicia: She was bond to go insane one day.

Jericho: -muffled- Lemme go!

Tracey: -still beaming and pointing- It's Jericho!!

Felicia: -shakes head- And she called us bad.

-Tracey is now hugging the tied Jericho tightly, a little too tightly-

Tracey: I LOVE YOU!!!

Felicia: -coughs nervously- Uh…time to let the nice wrestler breathe, Trace…

Jericho: -gags-

Tracey: -whimpers-

Felicia: Come on…

-Tracey sighs loudly, letting him go. Sadly, she forgot that Jericho was still tied up, thus quickly tipped over and landed on his side-

Jericho: OW!

Tracey: -giggling gleefully- He's so cute when he's hurt...even better when he's bloody…anyone got a razor?

Sarah: -blinks- Uh…mental note, don't give her any sharp objects..

Felicia: -gasp- Tracey don't!

-Felicia grabs the piece of broken window in her hands and she pouts-

Felicia: No blood.

Tracey: -sniffles-

Jericho: Are you crazy? First you kidnap me and now you're trying to mess up my beautiful face!

Tracey: -drools-

Jericho: …

-Felicia unties him finally and he stands up, brushing back his blonde mixed with red hair-

Jericho: I'm the undisputed champion! I don't deserve to be treated like this!

Tracey: -quickly- I'll treat you good!!

Jericho: -rolls eyes- …No thanks.

Tracey: -giggling gleefully- It's Jericho!

Felicia: …We're well aware of that, Tracey.

Sarah: -to Jericho- She's been dropped on her head a few too many times.

Jericho: I figured as much.

Felicia: You can have a seat. –gestures to the empty ones-

Jericho: Those are not chairs fit for a champion.

Felicia: -deadpan- How silly of me. I left my champion chairs at home.

Tracey: But it would be an honor if you sat in them though! 

Jericho: -suddenly smiles- Ahh, finally someone who appreciates the greatness that is me.

Tracey: You're my favorite ever!

Jericho: In that case, get me a coffee.

Tracey: OK! –runs out-

Sarah & Felicia: …

Sarah: -whispers- Were we that bad?

Felicia: -shakes head- Nope, the wrestlers didn't order us around 'coz they were scared of us.

Sarah: -nods, understanding- Ooh.

Jericho: Make this quick, I have a hair appointment…

Felicia: -under breath- Hopefully to get that horrible looking red stuff out of your hair.

Jericho: What was that? –raises brow-

Felicia: -innocent smile- Nothing!

-Jericho does a dramatic huff and sits back, looking annoyed-

Sarah: All right, Jericho, just a few questions and we're done. By the way, I'm Sarah and this is Felicia…

Jericho: …Great. Wonderful. This better be over soon…

Felicia: Yeah, it'll be quick.

Jericho: -rolls eyes- Get on with it, then.

Sarah: …Right. Um...question one…who gives you your…interesting fashion sense?

Felicia: -attempts not to snicker-

Jericho: -who is sporting his checkered pants and one of his wild shirts- It's all me, Sandra…

Sarah: That's Sarah, actually…

Jericho: Whatever. Yes, it is all my style. Don't you think it looks good?

Sarah: Oh yeah, the best. –attempts not to scowl-

Tracey: -bounding in- I'm back! –gives Jericho the coffee- Here ya go!

Jericho: -takes a sip and then spits it out- YUCK! What is this?

Tracey: …School brand coffee. –nods-

Jericho: I cannot drink this! It is an insult to my taste buds!

Tracey: I'm sorry Mr. Jericho Sir! –whimpers-

Sarah and Felicia: …

Jericho: You are forgiven. 

Tracey: YAY!

Sarah and Felicia: …

-Tracey sits next to Felicia and Sarah and just…stares-

Felicia: How does it feel to be a champion as you are?

Tracey: -drools-

Jericho: How I feel? I feel…powerful. No one can beat me! Sure shows everyone who said I was a loser, huh?

Felicia: -deadpan- But you cheat every match you win.

Jericho: Ha! I don't see any disqualifications on my record.

Felicia: No DQs? But what about…

Jericho: NEXT QUESTION!

Felicia: …

Tracey: -happy sigh-

Sarah: Why don't you ask a question, Tracey?

Tracey: …

Felicia: -waves hand in front of Tracey's face-

Tracey: …

Felicia: She's gone.

Sarah: -groans- All right, let's see...how about this? Of all the people that called you a 'loser'…which one really motivated you to bring out your…true side?

Jericho: -smirks- Easy…those damn McMahons kids…especially Stephanie!

Tracey: !!!!

Jericho: -peers at Tracey- …Why did she suddenly brighten up?

Sarah: -panicked look- No reason!

Tracey: YOU LIKE—

-Felicia tackles Tracey, putting her hand over her mouth. She tries to fight out of the grip but cannot get out of it-

Jericho: -clueless- I like what?

Sarah: -coughs- Nothing. She's not well in the head.

Jericho: …Yeah, but why is Flora tying her up?

Sarah: …erm…-grins innocently- She needs a nap.

Jericho: -unsure- …All right…

-Felicia gets off the now tied Tracey-

Felicia: That won't hold her long.

Sarah: -coughs- Great…er…I think we should end this thing…

Jericho: It looks like she's trying to say something…

Felicia: You don't want to know. Maybe you should go.

Tracey: -wiggling- MFFFH!!

Felicia and Sarah: …

Jericho: -blinks- …All right –gets up and walks off, not noticing Tracey try to crawl after him-

Sarah: -stops her with her foot-

Tracey: -whimper-

Sarah: …

Felicia: I'm kinda glad we're the ones who go nuts. She's just scary.

Sarah: -nods in agreement- …Well, that's the end of that…

Felicia: -horrified realization- But what happens when it's Benoit?

-The two girls look at each other in horror, and as the camera fades, the scary clichéd –dun dun dun!!- sound plays…though it's obviously a recording…they ain't rich, you know…-


	6. Ric Flair

**Pure Insanity – Ric Flair**

**A/N: **Special thanks to the guest stars…Jenna AKA Crimson Gem, VF AKA Voodoo Fighting Weasel, Aya AKA Hurricane's Sidekick, Kitten AKA Satin Frost, and, of course, Ocy AKA…Ocy. ^__^; 

-The camera fades on to show Sarah standing near it, while Felicia unties Tracey, who seems to either have died of have fallen asleep-

Sarah: I'm glad that ghetto guy that past by had sedatives…

Felicia: Wait a second, I thought you gave her water!

Sarah: Uh…oops, forgot to mention that…-innocent smile-

Felicia: O_o Oh my god, you drugged her?

Sarah: …Maybe?

Felicia: SARAH!

Sarah: WHAT! She needed a nap.

Felicia: Tracey! Tracey, wake up! –shakes her-

Tracey: -mumbling- No mommy, I don't want my blankie…

Sarah: Blankie!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Felicia: O_o;;; Tracey? We are not your mommies…

Sarah: -under breath- Thank god…

Felicia: -glares at Sarah before turning back to Tracey- Wake up!

Tracey: -finally opens her eyes groggily- …Whu? Where am I?

Felicia: She's alive!

Sarah: -fake happiness- Woo.

-Felicia gets off her friend and helps her up. Tracey looks dizzily around, confused-

Tracey: Where's Jericho?

Sarah: He left. You scared him away. –smirk-

Tracey: Aw. I wanted to tell him how I know his secret.

Felicia and Sarah: -sighs-

Tracey: SMOOCHY DREAMERS FOREVER! XD

Felicia and Sarah: …

Sarah: -to Felicia-  …And why do we hang out with her again?

Felicia: She's the comedy relief.

Sarah: Oh yeah…

Tracey: HEY! Are you two talking about me?

Sarah and Felicia: No!

Tracey: Ohhh. Okay!

Sarah: So, who's next on the list?

Tracey: Ooo, lemme check. –walks a bit shakily to the list, whimpers when she sees Jericho's name crossed off-

Felicia: Next name?

Tracey: Ric Flair! Heehee! WOOO!

Voice (O.S.): WOOOOOO!

Felicia and Sarah: …

Felicia: This is going to be very interesting…

Sarah: -chuckles- When ya can't beat 'em…WOOO!

-Felicia walks outside, and soon she drags in the body of Ric Flair, who seems a bit perky for a guy that's tied up. The minute the ropes are off, he stands up, beaming at the three of them-

Tracey: X_x;;; His smile is blinding me!

Felicia: Uh…hello Mr. Ric Flair..sir…

Ric: -grinning widely- No need to put any mister in front of my name, little lady! –sits down- So! Mind telling me why I'm here? Woooo!

Sarah: -giggles- We're just gonna interview you. Nothing too hard.

Tracey: X_x;;; Can't…see…

Ric: WOOO! Sounds great, sounds great…I love answering questions! But FIRST! I want you three to do a little of my catch phrase! WOOO!

Tracey, Sarah, and Felicia: …

Ric: Come on!

Tracey: WOOO! –beams-

Felicia: …Wooo?

Ric: With passion! WOOOOO!

Felicia: O_o;; -takes a deep breath- WOOO!

Sarah: -ahems- WOOOOOOOOO!

Ric: Now THAT'S a 'Woo'! WOOOO!

Tracey: ^_^;; This is crazy.

Ric: I'll tell you what's crazy! Vince McMahon thinking he can pull a fast one on me! WOOO!

Felicia: Still battling it out?

Ric: He keeps trying to win, but he never does nor will. Wooo! And FURTHERMORE, any sort of threats by him are just useless idle words! Wooo!

Tracey: Pretty confident…

Ric: Why shouldn't I be! I'm Ric Flair! WOOO!

Tracey: Yes, yes you are Ric.

Ric: Everybody loves me! Except, of course, Jericho and all those people…but they have no personality! WOOO!

Tracey: …

Felicia: -to Ric- Jericho's still a soft topic.

Ric: Oooh. Sorry about that! Wooo!

Tracey: …

Felicia: Moving along…

Ric: YES! Woo! So anyway, it's great to be back, it's great!

Felicia: …

Ric: Did you girls see me win at Royal Rumble? Woo! I destroyed him!

Sarah: We heard about it. –glares at Tracey-

Ric: The NWO don't scare me either! Woo! They'll be destroyed and I WILL OWN THE WWF!! MUAHAHAHA!

Sarah, Felicia, and Tracey: O_o

Ric: I mean…Woo.

Sarah, Felicia, and Tracey: Ooh.

Sarah: Arentcha the least bit scared?

Ric: No way! I'm like, 25 and they're all 80!

Felicia: But Mr. Flair, aren't you old…

Tracey: -shushes Felicia- There's some things you don't wanna touch upon.

Felicia: Gotcha.

Ric: -raises brow- You were saying?

Felicia: -innocent look- Nuttin! Just saying that you are...er…definitely gonna win, yeah.

Ric: Oh. Well, of course I'm gonna win! For the fans, I tell ya! –points- Hey, who's that?

-Tracey, Sarah, and Felicia turn to see Jenna standing behind them, stretching slightly with a yawn-

Jenna: Hey everyone.

Felicia: Hey, where'd you come from?

Jenna: Don't ask me, I don't write this thing. –sits down- Anyhow, I'm bored! So I decided to insert myself into the picture!

Sarah: We're in a picture too?

Tracey: Hee, writing fiction, gotta love the insanity.

Ric: O_o; Why are strange people appearing from out of no where?

VF: Like this?! –pops into the picture-

Ric: ACK! O_O

Sarah: It's getting kinda crowded in here…

Ric: Where'd she come from?! –points to VF-

VF: ;D From the magical land of Dudleyville!

Sarah, Tracey, Felicia: o_o;;;

Ric: The what of what of what?

Austin (O.C.): -muffled- WHAT!! WHAT!!!

Tracey: I love power. XD

-Suddenly Kitten, Ocy, and Aya appear outta no where, while Tracey laughs evilly-

Ocy: :D!!! HEY!!

Felicia: …This chapter is a new level of insanity…

Tracey: I know, I just feel like showing off my friends. XD

Ric: This is crazy! I will not stand around while people are appearing out of thin air! Woo!

Ocy: XD THEN SIT DOWN!!

Ric: And why is she frothing at the mouth? O_o

Ocy: I HAD MY SUPER SECRET DRINKY-RECIPE THAT MAKES ME WANNA SCREAM!! WANNA TRY?!!

Ric: -backs away- Er, no thanks.

Kitten: Where's Cookie? –pout-

Ric: You want a cookie?

Kitten: Noo..I WANT Cookie.

Ric: -looks utterly confused-

VF: -hops on one foot- I refuse to stop hopping until you interview Spike!

Ocy: OO!! I WANNA PLAY TOO! –hops on one foot-

Felicia: O_o; I think there's too many people here at once.

Aya: Where am I? –blinks and looks around-

Tracey: No worries Aya. XD You're just in one of my fics, see.

Aya: Ooh! Hey! Ric Flair! You have weird hair!

Ric: WHAT!

Austin (O.C.): WHAT!!

Sarah: We're good…only we can make Ric go insane, muahaha.

Ric: -looks around at everyone- I'm going to go now. This insanity is giving me a headache. Woo.

Jenna: You know, Tracey, you can admit you like Raven here…

Tracey: I DON'T LIKE RAVEN! X_x

Jenna: Do too!

Tracey: DO NOT!

Sarah: -giggles- See, there are more of us!

Tracey: SHADDUP YOU! –sniffles and curls up into a ball-

Ric: -quickly leaves before anyone says anything-

Felicia: We better send them back until we get to the right chapters for them…

Tracey: -sniffles and stands- I'm better now. All right, bye everyone!

-All the authors disappear besides VF and Ocy, who are still having their heated hopping on one foot battle-

VF: YOU CAN'T RID YOUR STORY OF US! HA!

Ocy: I LIKE HOPPING!!

Tracey, Felicia, Sarah: …

Felicia: Hey, you're the one who wrote them in…

Tracey: Hee. It's not that bad. Hey Ocy, why don't you make that hyperness drink of doom?

Ocy: OKAY!!! YEEE!!! I WAS UP ALL NIGHT WITH THAT ONE!! WOOOO!!

Felicia: Please, no more woos. I don't think I can take it.

Tracey: Hey, wait a second. Where'd Ric go?

-All of them glance around and see he is gone-

Tracey: I think we scared him off.

Sarah: And this is new because?

VF: YAY!! SPIKE CAN GO THEN!!

Tracey: Actually, the next person will be…

-The camera fades out just before Tracey says who's next. After all, if she told ya, it'd ruin the surprise! XD-


	7. Lita

**Pure Insanity – Lita**

**Disclaimer: **Since I mentioned them…I don't own LOTR or the TV show Angel…yep…****

**A/N: **Woo.

-The camera fades in to show the usual scene with the bonus of VF and Ocy hopping in the background still. Tracey is sitting cross-legged on a chair, playing with a magic eight ball. Felicia is reclining in yet another chair, looking over the list of wrestlers to interview. Sarah moves into the shot and walked to Tracey, snatching the eight ball from her-

Tracey: HEY!!

Sarah: -shakes ball- Will Raven marry me one day? –looks- No way in hell? What the fuck?!

Tracey: -innocently- The eight ball never lies.

Sarah: BITCH! You must have…sabotaged it! –shakes it again- -reads- …You suck Sarah?!

Tracey: -hmms- Well isn't THAT funny.

Ocy: I WANNA TRY!!!

-Ocy hopes over and grabs it from Sarah-

Ocy: IS CHEESE GREEN?!

-A close up of the eight ball's response. It reads 'Only your cheese, Ocy'-

Ocy: THIS THING IS SO COOL!! XD

Felicia: Let me see that…-takes it from Ocy who whimpers-

Ocy: Aw…

Felicia: -looks down at it- O_o Dude! It says 'I know what you're going to ask Felicia, and the answer is no. You can't own Jeff Hardy.'

VF: Wonders never cease…I mean, who knew all that could fit on that little cube thing inside!

Felicia: Where'd you get this thing?

Tracey: Some weird guy gave it to me on the streets. –shrugs-

Ocy: Ooo! Was it a hobbit?!

Tracey: -blink- What? Er…no.

Ocy: -disappointed- Oh.

VF: Was it Wesley?!

Tracey: -blinks again-W hy would Wesley be giving out eight balls on the streets of Clifton?

VF: -shrugs- He's NICE LIKE THAT!!

Tracey: But he 'lives' in LA.

VF: Well I don't live here either!

Sarah: She's got a point there…

Tracey: …It wasn't him.

VF: Not surprising…he's probably going after FRED!! XD

Sarah: …When did this become an Angel fanfiction?

Tracey: Topic changes are fun, duh.

Sarah: True…

-VF, Sarah, and Tracey all shrug. VF goes back to hopping with Ocy while Sarah and Tracey sit down again-

Sarah: So who's next?

Felicia: -reads- Lita.

Sarah: Who made that list anyway?

Felicia: I wonder that myself.

VF: Apparently someone who should die for not putting Spike first on the list!! –pout-

Tracey: Who cares? As long as it's a list, we will blindly follow. –evil music plays-

Felicia: That sounded…ominous.

Tracey: Oh no, not really…Ocy, stop playing with my 'scary effects' CD!

Ocy: -pout- Aw.

Sarah: Yanno what's really scary?

Tracey: What?

Sarah: Me if T Bond doesn't finish his Molly/Raven story!

Felicia: …That was…random.

Tracey: Hey, Sarah made me put that in this fic. –mumbles-

Felicia: Ahh, I see.

Tracey: Moving along…I'll go get her.

-Tracey walks out of the room and soon comes back with a very annoyed Lita in tow. Tracey takes the gag off her mouth-

Lita: THIS IS KIDNAPPING! I'll sue!

Tracey: You're welcome to do so…but a warning, all you'll get is a box and lint.

Sarah: NOT MY BOX HOUSE!

Tracey: -continues- We're not rich, you know…

Lita: Ugh. What do you people want from me?

Felicia: Just a quick interview…

Lita: So you're telling me that I was tied up for days just so you can have a few minutes of interview time?

Sarah: Well when you put it THAT way…

Lita: -sighs- But, whatever…I'll give you an interview…-sits down- Ask away.

VF: -before anyone else can say anything- DO YOU LIKE SPIKE?!!?!

Lita: -is taken aback- …Who, me?

VF: UH HUH!

Lita: Well I…

VF: I KNEW IT!! XD XD

Lita: But I…

VF: YOU SHOULD ASK HIM OUT!

Lita: Wait a second, I…

VF: YOU GUYS WILL HAVE SUCH CUTE CHILDREN!

Everyone but VF: O_O

Lita: Wha…what?

VF: MUAHAHAHAHA!

Sarah: I think VF has flipped her lid.

VF: NO! THIS IS ME FLIPPING MY LID! –flips a garbage can lid- XD

Ocy: COOL!! I WANNA TRY! –flips a lid- OOOO! :D

Lita: …Are you people retarded or something? O_o;

Tracey: Just those two. –points to Ocy and VF- Oh, and then her. –points to Sarah- Her too. –points to Felicia-

Sarah: YOU SHOULD TALK JERICHO GROUPIE!

Tracey: -ahem- I was just making him comfortable.

Felicia: We had to tie you up.

Tracey: YEAH! BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T LET ME MAKE HIM ADMIT HE LOVES STEPHANIE!

Lita: Chris loves Stephanie? O_o

Sarah: Oh god…

Tracey: YES! Haven't you seen it, Lita?! HAVEN'T YOU?!

Lita: Well I…

Tracey: I KNEW IT!! SHE SEES IT TOO!

Lita: But I…

Tracey: SEE!! IN YOUR FACES!!!

Lita: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF INTERVIEW IS THIS? O_o;

Felicia: …I apologize for Tracey…and VF…everyone, actually…I'm the only normal one…

Tracey: Righhtt…everyone tries to chase Jeff Hardy down through the streets…

Lita: Well actually…

Tracey: Shaddup, Lita.

Lita: Well it's TRUE…

Tracey: -mutters- But anyway...finally to a REAL question. –glares at VF who smiles innocently- How many tattoos do you have?

Lita: Well actually I have…

Ocy: I HAVE TATTOOS!! SEE!! –flashes a temporary tattoo-

Lita: Lovely. I have…

VF: Those are so cool! I want one!

Lita: -annoyed- I have…

Ocy: YEAH!! I LOVE IT!

Lita: THAT'S IT! Lemme at 'um!

-Lita attempts to attack the two hopping interrupters but quickly both Tracey and Felicia hold her back-

Sarah: XD Let her go! This could be fun!

Tracey: SARAH!

Sarah: WHAT! It could!

Ocy: Hey VF?

VF: Yeah Ocy?

Ocy: What do you call a mad Lita?

VF: -beams- What?

Ocy: RED BULL! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

VF: -almost falls over in laughter-

All but Ocy and VF: O_o;;;

Lita: …

Tracey: This interview isn't going so well…

Lita: Can I please just kick them or something?

Tracey: I don't know…

Sarah: I'm pretty sure they're an endangered species…

Felicia: …They are certainly one of a kind…

Ocy: WOOO! –giggles and pokes VF-

Lita: Can I go now?

Tracey: We haven't asked you one question…

Lita: Well ask away! Yeesh.

Felicia: How are you and Matt doing…?

Lita: Well we…

VF: SHE LIKES SPIKE, DIDN'T YOU HEAR?!!

Ocy: …WHAT SHE SAID!!

Lita: I do…

VF: YOU WANNA MARRY HIM?! REALLY?!

Lita: URGH!

Sarah: Betcha they'll drive her nuts…

Felicia: No way, I'll lose the bet. –smirks-

Lita: I don't like…

VF: Matt?! Yeah, I don't like him too.

Lita: Actually I…

VF: You don't have to explain, Lita. You don't have to explain.

Lita: Can I go now? PLEASE?

Tracey: -sigh- Yes, you better go. I don't think this is going to go anywhere.

Sarah: There hasn't been an interview that went anywhere…ever.

Tracey: …True…

Lita: I'm outta here.

-The girls watch her leave, grumbling all the way-

Tracey: Well that was…unproductive.

VF: I thought it went well. XD

Tracey: …

Sarah: We need to do Spike soon.

Felicia: -glancing at VF and Ocy- Very soon.

-The camera fades out on them-


	8. Edge

**Pure Insanity – Edge**

**Guest People: **Digital Tempest (Tiara), Jamie (Eliseth), and Satin Frost (Kitten), plus the ever funny Voodoo Fighting Weasel (VF) and Ocy

**A/N: **And it keeps movin' along! XD

-The camera turns on to show yet again the obvious people…VF and Ocy hopping still, though both of them have somehow gotten chocolate and are happily eating it. Tracey and Sarah seem to be amusing themselves with a card game, while Felicia continues to play with the eight ball from the Lita chapter-

Felicia: This thing knows what I'm thinking.

Jamie: Of course it does.

-All occupants look up to see Jamie sitting in a whirly-chair that is probably the only expensive thing in the room, a wide grin on her face-

Sarah: Another person? O_o;

Tracey: Why not?

Ocy: JAMIENESS! XD XD

Jamie: Hiya everyone. ^_~

Felicia: She isn't crazy, is she?

Tracey: -coughs- Uh..no...of course not!

Jamie: XD I'm an angel! Really!

Felicia: Nooo…I'm THE ANGEL! :D

Jamie: Grr…darn FF.net name…well…well…I'M ELISETH! YEAH!! XD

All but Jamie: …

Jamie: …What! I am. ;)

Tracey: Yep…anyway, since she's here, I know who's next.

VF: SPIKEY?! XD

Tracey: Nope! Edge!

Jamie: -automatically goes into mark mode- I LOVE EDGE!! HE'S MUH MAN!! XD XD

Ocy and VF: …

Ocy: Edge ish evil. :P

Felicia: -also marking out- YEE! HE'S SO HOT! –wacks Ocy- SHUSH YOU!

Sarah: My vampire? Where? XD

Tracey, Ocy, and VF: …

Jamie: I'z gonna glomp 'um, and love 'um…

VF: -munching on chocolate- And youse say I'm bad, Traceyness.

Jamie: …and eventually f…

Tracey: HEY! PG-13 story here!

Jamie: -pouts-

Ocy: Can I hit him in his big chin? XD

Jamie, Felicia, and Sarah: O_O

Tracey: O_o;; I hope you can hop fast, Ocy…

Sarah: Can we sick the Edge cat on her? –looks at Tracey hopefully-

Tracey: Right…like my cat would move…-smirk-

Sarah: Probably too tired from worshipping to her vampire god.

Tracey, Ocy, and VF: O_o;

Jamie: Let's bring him in!

Tracey: …Do we have to?

Ocy: YEA! LET'S KICK HIS BUTT!

Sarah, Felicia, and Jamie: -glares at Ocy-

Ocy: …Er…or not..^_^;

Tracey: I really should make this a one person show…-shakes head-

VF: Not until SPIKEY! XD

Jamie: Ooo!

-Jamie sees the eight ball on the ground and snatches it up-

Jamie: I LOVE THESE THINGS! XD

Felicia: O_o;

Jamie: Hey, what's this? –reading the ball- 'Oh dear god let me go, I can't take the evilness!' Woah! Cool!

Tracey: You're evil? Wait...what are you thinking?

Jamie: -smiling slyly- Well actually, I'm thinking about…

Tracey: O_o; Never mind, I don't think I want to know.

Jamie: XD

Tracey: God my head hurts. X_X

Jamie: -smiles as she does her little 'imagine this' stance- Come on, Tracey, ya remember…RVD…on the be…

Tracey: -turns red- Shaddup!

Sarah: -grinning- What was that? XD

Tracey: -even redder- Nothing! Nothing at all.

Jamie: -prods further- 'Member the moonsault?

Tracey: JAMIE SHUT THE HELL UP!

Y2J (O.C.): HEY! CATCHPHRASE INFRINGMENT!

Tracey: -gasp- JERICHO!!

-You hear feet running away from the room, and Sarah stops her from running after him-

Tracey: -sniffles- Aw…

Jamie: -continues to grin evilly- Oh, so you want it to be Jericho now?

Tracey: -just glares and sulks- Shaddup you!

Sarah: -smiling innocently- Raven sulks!

Tracey: Start with me and you die. –glare-

Jamie: …You like Raven too?

Tracey: WHAT!

Austin (O.C.): WHAT!!!

Felicia: We really need to do that guy soon…

Tracey: If you only knew how bad that sounded, Felicia…

Felicia: Naw, you've been hanging out with Sarah too long is all!

Jamie: Wait wait, you like Raven?

Tracey: -turning red again- NO!

Jamie: Damn I wouldn't want to see what you do at night! O_o;

Tracey: O_O;; -now is REALLY red- I DON'T…ugh!

Jamie: How many is that now? Three?

Tracey: I DON'T LIKE RAVEN! O_o;;;

Jamie: Then why are you beet red?

Sarah: I KNEW IT!

Tracey: -dying of embarrassment- SHADDUP! I just have a fever…yeah…damn flu…

VF: XD I think that's how anthrax starts!

Ocy: WE'LL HELP YOU! XD

-VF and Ocy physically takes Tracey and out of no where a medical kit appears-

Tracey: O_O SAVE ME!

Sarah: Admit you like Raven!

Tracey: NO!

Sarah: …-smiling- So bring in Edge!

-As VF and Ocy…cough…'cure' Tracey from anthrax, Jamie, Sarah, and Felicia skip off camera and soon come back with Edge in tow. He looks like he's terrified, and is trying to maintain a fetal position even though he's tied up and gagged-

Jamie: You know, for some reason, this makes me very happy. XD

Tracey: -trying to get up- I have to help Edge!

VF: Nono! You need to be CURED! XD

Ocy: Yes! We will CURE YOUSE! XD

Tracey: I don't have anthrax!!!

VF: SURE YA DO! XD

Tracey: Do not! Lemme go!

-As she continues to fight out, Sarah, Felicia, and Jamie seem to be evilly discussing what they were going to do with the…nice situation…-

Jamie: I get 'um first!

Sarah: No! I do!

Felicia: YOU'RE BOTH WRONG! I DO! :D

Jamie: We can share 'um, yanno. I get the hair!

Edge: -muffled- O_o;;;;;; Helf mah!

Jamie: -glomps him- I LOVE YOU!! XD

Edge: O_O;

-The three continue to fight over him, while Tracey still tries to get out of the clutches of VF and Ocy-

Ocy: It doesn't look good, docta. XD

VF: We might have to surgafy her!

Ocy: Yes yes.

Tracey: O_O WHAT!

Austin (O.C.): WHAT!

Tracey: NO! No surgery! GOD no surgery! I DON'T HAVE ANTHRAX!

VF: -confuzzled- Then why were you all red?

Tracey: -blushing- No reason! No reason at all!

Ocy: SEE! There it goes again! ANTHRAX!

Tracey: No! It's not that…It's…

VF and Ocy: -listens intently-

Tracey: God! It's 'coz I like Raven! Now lemme go!

All but Tracey: -stops and stares-

Tracey: -dies- ;_;

Sarah: HA! I KNEW IT!

-There is celebration across the lands…or from all the people that kept bugging her…mother f…-

Jamie: CENSOR! XD

VF: Oh, in that case, by all means! XD –lets her go-

Tracey: -picks up a chair and stand in front of Edge- BACK! BACK DEMONS!

Sarah: Dude, who cares? You like Raven! XD

Tracey: …-unties Edge and gives him the chair- Just kill me. Now.

Edge: O_o;

Tracey: Wait a second, now that I think about it…I don't like Raven! I only said that so VF and Ocy didn't open me up and mess up my insides! XD

All but Tracey: …

Sarah: …Does the admittance still count?

Felicia: -wary- I don't think so…

Sarah: Damnit!

-Celebration stops-

Edge: Are you people crazy? O_o;

VF: -gasp- No, but I bet youse are! VF AND OCY THE PSYCHO-LOGISTS TO THE RESCUE!

Edge: O_O N…no…

Kitten: -pops in outta no where- I'll help! XD

Ocy: YEAY!!

-Kitten, Ocy, and VF seize Edge, who is now whimpering-

Kitten: This is gonna be fun! XD

Felicia: Edge you're so hot..-drool-

Sarah and Jamie: -drool-

Kitten: …I SHALL PET YOUR HAIR NOW! –clings to him-

Edge: ACK! O_o;;;

-Edge tries to run away, but the girls drag him back as Tracey sits on the ground, rocking back and forth, muttering something under her breath.

VF: HE NEEDS A BRAIN SURGERY! XD

Ocy: Yes. Let's trade his brain with Christian! XD

Edge: O_O!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!

Tiara (O.C.): -booming voice- Nay! You shall not wreck him with such foolishness!

Tracey: -looks around- God? O_o

Tiara (O.C.): -normal voice- No, it's jes me. Don't you dare give anyone Christian's brain! That's torture!

Ocy: Oh. 'Tay, Tiaraness.

Edge: -shaking like a leaf- Please let me go…

Kitten: Aw, no worries…-pets Edge-

Edge: -tries to back away-

Jamie: XD We will take GOOD care of you…

Edge: -finally is freed and runs out like a screaming girl-

All: …

Tracey: You know, interviewing isn't the main objective anymore, is it?

-The seven girls look at each other and shrug-

Sarah: Stories like these don't need plots anyway. XD

Kitten: Well, time to go back to my fic! Call on me any time! –poofs!-

Jamie: Ya, me too. Byebye! –waves and poofs as well-

Tracey: -shakes head- After the thing we put Edge through, I think he'll NEED Kitten's help.

Sarah: -grinning- So Tracey…ya like Raven, huh?

Tracey: -annoyed- I only said that so I didn't die!

All but Tracey: Surrreeee…

Tracey: -glares-

-The camera fades out on the scene…all magically and stuff…-


	9. Hurricane

**Pure Insanity – Hurricane**

-You know, I should go on strike. I have to explain the damn scene every single time, even though I've explain it every chapter. Why do I need to keep repeating myself? -_- -

Sarah: -floating- Wooahh…I didn't think chill pills worked this fast. O_o;

VF: I iz flying! XD –floatfloat-

Felicia: HEY NARRATOR! Do your job!

Ocy: Hey, why ya talkin' to yourself?

-Ocy, you should kick Sarah's butt!-

Ocy: !!! A voice! In my head!

-That's right...my name is…Bob…Bob the voice-

Ocy: 'Kay, I'll do what ya say! –pokes Sarah-

Sarah: OW!

Ocy: XD Feel the evil.

Tracey: Can you please say the scene before we kill each other?

-Not until you thank me profusely for saying the scenes and big actions so eloquently. XD-

Ocy: Ooo…big word!

Felicia: Tracey, tell your real self to write the scene…we're floating in nothingness here!

Tracey: Er, remember, I'm kinda not able to make me do it. See. –makes me do it- Nothing.

-MUAHAHAHA! XD (insert evil music)-

Sarah: That was a pretty ominous stuff there.

Tracey: OCY! STOP PLAYING WITH MY CD!

Ocy: Aw. –pout-

-I'm going to have fun. Yes. We need a change of...atmosphere…-

Felicia: Okay now that DOES sound ominous.

Ocy: -whimpers- I didn't touch! I swear!

-The scene, huh? The scene is uh…the middle of the squared circle itself…and the wrestlers you have tied up aren't tied up anymore…-

All: O_o;;

-The wrestlers are closing in, ready to get some retribution for the insanity they were forced to be put through…-

Edge: Here's my doctor's bill psychos! –whimpers-

Jericho: I MISSED MY HAIR APPOINTMENT!

Felicia: -to Sarah- I'll say.

Sarah: -snicker-

Tracey: -glare-

Lita: Spike's all over me now! –pushes him away-

Spike: I love you Lita! XD

VF: SPIKEY! Finally!

-But then Spike disappears with a poof!-

VF: -whimpers- NOO!! NOO, I WAS SO CLOSE!! –starts to cry-

Lita: …

Jeff: I lost my favorite hat running from you! –points to Felicia-

Felicia: -swoons- No you didn't, I have it! It's on the head of the dummy I fashioned to look like you in your honor!

All but Felicia: …

Felicia: WHAT!

Ric: -whimpers- I don't have weird hair! Woo!

Kane: -sniffles and holds up his ripped coloring book-

-The girls form a tight circle as the wrestlers get closer and closer. Wanna thank me now?-

Tracey: -whimpers- ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! THANK YOU FOR HELPING US! Now make them go away before they kill us. O_o;

All: YEAH! PLEASE!

-Okay. The scene disappears and reappears in the normal place. Tracey and Felicia are counting the jumps VF and Ocy are still doing, while Sarah hums and plays with her Lance Storm action figure-

Sarah: XD Action Lance Storm, meet Action Lita…

Tracey: -looking over- …Sigh…you're sad, Sarah.

Felicia: -looks around- Weren't we somewhere else a second ago?

VF: I wanna go to Jupiter! XD

Ocy: ME TOO! ^_~

Felicia: -still looking around, confused-

Ocy: -singing- I'z a lil' teapot, short an' stout…here is mah handle, here is my spout…

Sarah: That song is so wrong on so many levels…

Tracey: You worry me. You know that right?

Sarah: -holds up doll- Well Action Lance Storm says he wants to be serious for a minute, so shaddup bitch!

Tracey: … -starts counting down 60 seconds-

VF: I had this strange dream that Spike liked Lita and…

All but VF: ^_^;;

VF: ONE DAY!! ONE DAY!!

Ocy: ^_^ -pats VF-

Felicia: Aren't you two tired?

Ocy and VF: Noooo! XD

Sarah: All the hopping is giving me motion sickness…blech.

Kitten: -out of nowhere pops in- BENOIT'S A PIRATE! –giggles-

Tracey: Grr!

Kitten: Eep! –disappears-

Sarah: -giggles at thought of Benoit with one leg-

Tracey: -pops thought bubble- I will kill you. –glare-

Sarah: You're such a violent person Tracey. –innocent look-

Tracey: …

VF: I CAN SPEAK DOGGESE! XD XD

Ocy: Ooo…woof woof!

VF: No you cannot throw cheese! That's wasteful! XD

All but VF: …

Felicia: -to Tracey- Am I the only one that wonders how we ended up with this group of friends?

Tracey: I ask myself that every day. –shakes head-

Ocy: -whimpers- I want cheeseee.

VF: MINE! ALL MINE! XD

All but Ocy and VF: …

Aya: LET'S MOVE ON TO THE PERSON! WOOO!

All but Aya: ACK! O_o

Sarah: Where did you come from?!

Aya: Er…da sky? WHOOSH!

Tracey: -slaps hand to forehead- I think I know who's next.

VF: SPIKEY?!

-Suddenly a gust of wind from out of nowhere smashes into everyone, nearly blowing all the people in the room over. When they all open their eyes, Hurricane himself is standing there, looking quite heroic as usual!-

All but Aya: O_o

Aya: WHOOSH! XD XD

Hurricane: Citizen…er…what's your name? –points to Tracey-

Tracey: Er…Tracey…Mister…Hurricane…

Hurricane: -upbeat- Alright, Citizen Tracey! You have kept the Hurricane tied up for days! Whatsupwitdat?!

VF: -glares and sulks-

Ocy: -looking around in wonder- Where did that wind come from?

Aya: I love you! –hugs his leg-

Hurricane: -blinks and looks at Aya-

Tracey: She's not well, Mr. Hurricane.

Sarah: -swoon- I read your journal every time you update it!

Hurricane: I sense evil in this room, Citizen Tracey!

Tracey: Oh, don't worry, that's just Sarah.

Sarah: HEY! BITCH!

Hurricane: Do my hurri-ears deceive me? Swearing? Not very nice Citizen Sarah!

Sarah: Sorry Hurricane! Whoosh!

VF: -glares-

Hurricane: I sense some…-looks around dramatically- ill feelings in this room!

VF: Home wrecker! –glare-

Ocy: My mommy says I'm a home wrecker. –beams-

Felicia: ^_^;; Not THAT kind of home wrecker, Ocy…

Ocy: Ooh.

Aya: -still attached to his leg- I'M YOUR SIDEKICK!

Hurricane: -blinks- You must be mistaken Citizen…

Aya: Aya! –beam-

Hurricane: Mighty Molly is my sidekick.

VF: -looks madder-

Tracey: O_o;; Down VF…

VF: YOU STOLE HER FROM SPIKE!

Sarah: Uh-oh…-starts handing out hard hats-

Hurricane: Her powers called her.

VF: -looks pissed-

Felicia: -to Hurricane- Molly is a touchy subject.

Hurricane: My hurri-senses have detected that.

Tracey: Let's start the interview before VF flips her lid…

Ocy: La la la! –flips a garbage can lid-

All but Ocy: …

Ocy: XD

VF: I have a question…how does it feel breaking up the best couple ever?! –glare-

Tracey: -groans- VF…

Hurricane: She came to me, Citizen…

VF: I'M NOT A F'N CITIZEN!

Rob: I'm the f'n show! –beams-

Tracey: -SQUEAL!- RVD!

Rob: Ack! –runs off-

Sarah: I think somewhere the wrestlers like us…they keep coming back! –beams-

Felicia: -grins- Raven hasn't…

Sarah: Do you WANT me to kill you?

Aya: We can run away together! –beams up at Hurricane-

Hurricane: My hurri-senses are picking up that you are all insane. –coughs-

VF: -sulks- Give the idiot a prize.

Ocy: -beams- Whoosh!

Hurricane: I think I should depart on my hurri-cycle…

VF: You mean the one I smashed?! XD

All but VF: O_o;;;

Hurricane: You WHAT?

VF: Ehehehehehehehe…

Hurricane: I apologize, but I must go. My hurri-powers are needed. Citizen Aya, please let go of my…

Aya: NEVER! XD XD

Hurricane: …

Felicia: -to Tracey- I think not even Hurricane can save us from the evil that is us.

Tracey: -rolls eyes- Aya, let the nice superhero go…

VF: He isn't a superhero! He's a chump! You brainwashed Molly!

Hurricane: You must be mistaken, I have no hurri-hypnosis powers at all!

Tracey: -drags Aya off his leg- You can go now, Mr. Hurricane…

Hurricane: My thanks to you, Citizen Tracey! I am off! Whoosh!

-The girls watch as he flies off (Well, VF is glaring at him as he leaves), the wind picking up and dying down respectively-

VF: Dumbass…

Aya: YOU SCARED HIM AWAY! –starts fighting with VF-

All by Aya and VF: …

Tracey: We WILL interview people one day…

Sarah: No we won't. –grins-

Tracey: Stop destroying my dream! –whimpers-

-The camera fades out on Aya and VF still fighting…-


	10. Spike Dudley

**The Weasel and Ocy Show – Spike Dudley**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Jay and Silent Bob, they're creations of Kevin Smith, who is nifty. XD Sam is copyright to me.

**A/N:** This fic has my muses in it…woo! Sam is from 'To Tame The Wild Beast' and 'Secrets and Lies'—go read if you haven't!

 -The camera turns on to have a mega close up on VF and Ocy, who are peering real close into the lens. Ocy's eyes suddenly look upward-

Ocy: !!!

VF: Wut is it, Ocyness?

Ocy: Lookit, pretty red lighty thingy. XD

VF: -looks- !!! YAY!!! WE FINALLY TURNED IT ON!

Ocy: !!!! O_o We did?!!!? YEAY!!

-The two step back from the camera to show the room is void of human life besides them. Sarah, Tracey, and Felicia are nowhere to be seen. They dance a little in celebration of their achievement and then stop, beaming at each other. Ocy turns to the camera and with a big smile gives a thumbs up to it-

Ocy: HI! WELCOME TO THE OCY AND WEASEL SHOW!

VF: -interrupts- Shouldn't it be Weasel and Ocy Show Ocyness?

Ocy: Why should your name be first? –pout-

VF: Same reason you think your name should be first! I thought of that reason first though, that's why.

Ocy: -looks puzzled, then disappointed- Darn! And I thought my idea that my name was weirder was original! I guess you're right VFness.

VF: Yup! XD

Ocy: So, WELCOME TO THE WEASEL AND OCY SHOW! –pause- -pause- VFNESS!

VF: Yessum?

Ocy: Hi. ^__^ 

VF: -beams- Hiya.

-Ocy sits in Tracey's chair-

Ocy: Do youse think Traceyness will mind that we're playing with her incredibly delicate equipment that if broken she could be put in detention forever?

-The two look at each other-

Both: Nah.

VF: Anyhow, since we have control of the camera, let's have some fun!

Ocy: I like fun. XD

VF: Me too. Guess wut I found when Tracey wasn't looking?

Ocy: Ooo, wut?

VF: -pulls out bag from outta no where- HER MUSE BAG! XD

Ocy: …Wussa muse bag?

-VF opens the bag and loud noses come from inside-

Ocy: -peers in- DUDE! IT'S SO COOL IN THERE! XD It's all funkah.

VF: We need people to cover for them three so I decided…hey! Why not get three of her muses?

Ocy: Which three?

VF: I dunno. Let's go find 'em!

-Suddenly VF jumps in and Ocy watches her disappear into it. Ocy pauses a minute, and then finally jumps in as well. The two land in a very strange place, it's sort of like a big field with houses and such in it. Muses of all kind are there, and the only difference between them and the real people are strange 'T' tattoos on their left arm-

Ocy: -big eyes- Are we in heaven?

VF: No, we're in Tracey's head. Think about it.

Ocy: Ooh. –quiets- But issa too pretty to be hell!

VF: Let's go find some muses to bring back with us.

Ocy: 'Tay.

-The two walk in the field slowly, muses all around them-

VF: -stops dead- O_O

Ocy: -smacks into her- Ack!

VF: -whimpers- Didn't Traceyness say she locked up Raven muse in a cell?

Ocy: Ya, I heard something like that.

VF: Well he's making out with Molly muse!

Ocy: -looks over VF's shoulder- Oh hey, he is. HI RAVEN MUSE! –wavewave!-

VF: HEY! WATCH YOUR HANDS THEIR BUDDY! SHE'S SPIKE'S!

Ocy: -tugs on VF sleeve- Can we take Raven muse?

VF: NO! He's making out with Molly! He ish evil! –sniff-

Ocy: Aw.

-VF drags Ocy away from them. When they get a distance away, she lets her go and they continue walking.-

Ocy: !! Issa RVD muse!! XD –points-

VF: Oi. And he's making out with Sam muse. There's a lot of kissing here. -_- Oh well, pretty soon Sam'll be making out with…

Ocy: -cuts her off- Let's bring Sam!

VF: Sam? You serious?

Ocy: She'd be cool!

VF: Well ya…she's muh hero…but she looks kinda…busy.

Ocy: She needs to breathe sometimes, why not now! XD SAM!! OOH SAMMM!

-Sam pulls from Raven, and the two look at them. VF and Ocy approach them cheerfully.-

Sam: -raises brow- Can we help you?

RVD: Aw, lookit, they're so cute and little…

VF: Yousa cute too. –inches away from Sam- But he's yours, 'course.

Sam: -nods and can't help but grin-

Ocy: -tugs on Sam's sleeve- Miss Sam lady?

Sam: Yes?

Ocy: Wanna be in a different fic?

Sam: Which fic?

RVD: I'm going to guess…Pure Insanity, right?

VF: You know 'bout it?

RVD: 'Course, it's funny. Heh! Especially you two. What are you guys doing here, anyway?

VF: We took over the fic and we're looking for three good muses. And Sam's nifty. XD

Sam: Well I don't usually do appearances…but since Rob is glaring at me, fine. –rolls eyes- I'll go on your little…fic…thing.

Ocy: YEAY!!

VF: XD

Sam: But who will be the other two with us?

RVD: -grinning- I have an idea…

-VF and Ocy look at him expectantly, while Sam scowls-

Sam: I know who you're thinking of and I am not going to take those two more then I have too, Rob…it's bad enough you talk to them…

RVD: Hey, there they are now…

-VF and Ocy look to see Jay and Silent Bob walking toward them, already a string of curses ringing in their ear as Jay complains about something.-

RVD: Hey guys, over here!

Sam: ROB! Shaddup!

-The two walk over, Jay's smile widening at the sight of Sam-

Jay: -eyeing Sam- You gonna let me have some fun with her, Rob?

RVD: No. –smirks- These two need two other people, and I think you guys are good for it. –grins-

Sam: -rolls eyes- Why me…?

Jay: Oo, you know you want some of this! –grins lewdly-

Bob: -rolls eyes-

Jay: Fucking getting caught in this crazy girl's head ain't half bad, you know. –to VF- Some hot ass chicks here. Molly Holly? Hells yeah. And Sam too, and Lita. They are so into me.

Ocy: Molly was making out with Raven! XD

VF: SHADDUP!

Jay: Wasn't doing that last night if ya know what I mean…

VF: -whimpers-

Sam: Don't listen to that idiot, nobody in their right mind would fuck him…

Jay: That's why there is fucking drugs. Snoogans. –snickers-

Sam: Let's just get this over with…-rolls eyes-

-The camera turns off and then turns on again, to show time has passed and they are all out of the bag and in the room, with an added addition-

VF: Please can I pet him? –whimpers-

-VF, tied up, stares longingly at Spike who is sitting on the ground, staring at them all like a scared rabbit-

Sam: I never thought people turned that purple. O_o

Jay: Bitch has a grip, give her that.

Bob: -nods, looking amazed-

Ocy: Issa VFness, 'course she does.

Sam: It took us all 10 minutes to get her off him, I think…

Jay: Well if you stopped feeling me up…

Sam: -glares at Jay- You were in my way, dumbass. Why would I touch you?

Bob: -gets between them and shakes his head-

Ocy: Bob's right, you guys. We gotta interview Spikey!

Jay: He's a wrestler? Damn, they get smaller and smaller every year!

VF: -snorts and glares at Jay- I'LL KILL YOU!

Jay: O_o;;

Sam: -rolls eyes- Touchy subject, idiot.

Jay: I was just fucking saying…

Bob: -shakes head no-

Jay: Ugh! Whatever.

Ocy: -unties Spike- There you go…

-Spike shakily gets up, looking at them all-

Spike: -fixes his glasses- She's not gonna attempt to kill me again, is she?

Sam: She didn't try to kill you, she really likes you!

Spike: Oh. Well, that's okay.

VF: I LOVE YOU SPIKEY!! XD XD

Jay: She likes him and she doesn't fucking like me? What the hell is with that? I am so much fucking better!

Bob: -rolls eyes-

VF: NO ONE ISH BETTER THEN MUH SPIKEY!

Sam: Should we let her go?

Ocy: She looks kinda rabid right now…

Jay: XD Let her go, I wanna fucking watch him turn blue 'gain!

Spike: -takes a step back, a bit frightened-

Bob: -pats Spike's back comfortingly-

Sam: Better not, you're right. –nods-

VF: FIRST QUESTION, WILL YOU MARRY ME?!

Spike: -blushes- Well I…

Sam: -to Ocy- Well, she's abrupt…

Ocy: -nods and giggles-

VF: YOU SHOULD GO OUT WITH LITA! XD

Jay: No way, that bitch is mine!

Sam: -hits Jay over the head- Shaddup Jay.

Jay: OW! BITCH!

Sam: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!

Jay: O_o;;; Uh…nothing…

Sam: That's what I thought.

Bob: -snickers and motions as if he's snapping a whip-

Jay: -angrily, to Bob- I'm not whipped!

Sam: Jay! Shut the fuck up!

Jay: Yes ma'am. –goes silent-

VF: I LOVE YOU SPIKE!

Ocy: -groans- This is going nowhere…

-VF suddenly breaks the ropes and clamps onto Spike's leg. He chuckles nervously, trying to shake her off gently-

Spike: Er, I appreciate your affection…

Tracey (O.C.): What the…?

-All look up to see Tracey, Sarah, and Felicia walking in, staring at them all in shock-

Ocy: ACK!! O_o

-The muses quickly make their exit, jumping into the bag-

Felicia: What happened here?

-They look around at the very messed up room-

Ocy: Er…VF got a little excited? –cough-

Tracey: …

Sarah: Hey look, it's your muse bag!

Ocy: XD Raven runs free there!

Sarah: Oh REALLY? –turns to Tracey- How interesting!

Tracey: -turns red- He gets out sometimes.

Sarah: -rolls eyes- Uh-huh…

-Tracey moves to camera-

Tracey: Show over NOW.

-The camera fades to black, as you hear Tracey say 'Spike was last in line!'-


	11. The Rock

**Pure Insanity – The Rock**

**A/N: **And you thought this story was over…XD

-The camera fades on a scene of much disarray – the picture even has a huge scratch running from the top left to the bottom right. Chairs, papers, and other clutter litter the room, and the desk now seems to be broken in different places. Tracey and Sarah observe the mess in the background, both looking serious in face.-

Sarah: …Maybe they won't notice!

-As Sarah says this, the desk collapses in a heap of wood. All girls jump back in surprise. When the dust clears, the three just continue to stare.-

Tracey: …You were saying?

Sarah: Do you think they'd believe us if we said a mini-tornado hit us? I think that could explain it…

Tracey: A mini-tornado DID hit us. Its name is Ocy and VF.

Sarah: …Right.

Tracey: Where did those two psychos go anyway?

Sarah: They slipped out when I was going to kill them. Apparently they do not want to witness my wrath…that or they did their damage and went home…

Tracey: …Probably the latter.

Sarah: Hey! My wrath kicks ass!

Tracey: Right. Anyway…

Sarah: …

-VF walks in, quite cheerfully, sitting on a chair, which breaks on her the minute she does. She gets up, suddenly noticing the mess-

VF: Hey, what happened?

Sarah: …You and Ocy broke the place?

VF: We did? Last thing I remember…is seeing Spike.

Tracey: …You blanked out? Woah.

VF: Hm. That's troubling. –ponders- Hey, where's Felicia?

Sarah: She ran off. Apparently she said she didn't want to get in trouble. Like we're going too.

VF: Oh. Hey! I know what I'll do to fix this!

Tracey: …Find a couple thousand dollars to fix this place before they see?

VF: Noo…I'll take Felicia's place!

Sarah: No, that's al-

VF: YES?!?! OKAY!!! I WILL BE!!!!

Tracey and Sarah: O_o

Sarah: But…

VF: YAAAYYY!! I'M A HOSTIE, I'M A HOSTIE!

Tracey: -to Sarah- Dude, don't bother.

VF: -oblivious- Yaayyyy!!!

Sarah: …I see your point.

Tracey: It's pretty dirty in here. Not good for an interview.

VF: I know!

-VF pulls out a TV from her pocket, because she can, and puts it down in front of Tracey and Sarah.-

VF: The TV can solve all our problems!

Tracey: …It can?

VF: Yes! See!

-She turns it on and a dude is on there, selling something.-

Dude: Are you in deep shit?

Sarah and Tracey: …O_o

VF: YES WE ARE!

Dude: Is your room destroyed by rabid Spike fans?

Tracey: -staring at TV- …I dare not ask…

VF: See! Help us, Mr. TV man!

Dude: Okay! –cheerfully-

Sarah: …Dude, why doesn't Raven talk to me when I talk to him when he's on TV?

VF: -ignoring her- What should we do?

Dude: For three installments of $99.99, you can have the magical cleaning kit!

VF: YEAY!

Sarah: THREE PAYMENTS?

Dude: Yes, three payments, cheap ass!

Sarah: …Grr…

VF: I have lint, and a piece of candy Mr. TV Guy!

Dude: …Eh, that's enough. So call now, and tell them Dude sent you! This message will blow up your TV in five seconds.

VF: Bye bye!

-The TV blows up with a little pop, and Sarah and Tracey just stare as VF takes out a phone and calls a random number-

VF: -into phone- Hello, I'd like to buy the magical cleaning kit!

Sarah: Shouldn't we stop her?

Tracey: Naw, she can't possibly destroy this place any worse.

Sarah: …True…

VF: It's coming? Yay!

-Suddenly something knocks on the door. And the door falls over. Poor door. Some guy stands there, a big box behind him. He drags it through the now open door. He seems to be reading something as he speaks-

Delivery Guy: Thank you for buying this product. Please do not put it by open flame or anything that could cause mass destruction. Thank you.

-The guy scurries off. The box starts moving.-

Sarah: O_o It's alive!

Tracey: …Y'know, why do I get this feeling…

-The box bursts open suddenly and amid the newly made cardboard mess, the contents have made itself known, and it just so happens to be…-

Tracey and Sarah: O_o; Tiara?

Tiara: Whu…where am I? –looks dizzy- Some guy jumped me and put me in a box! Oww.

VF: YEAY!! MAGICAL KIT!! –she runs up and hugs Tiara-

Tiara: Magical kit? Eh?

Tracey: …I think you've been ripped off, VF…

VF: -looks horrified- No! No! The TV doesn't lie! YOU'RE HERE TO CLEAN, RIGHT!? RIGHT!?

Tiara: -bites lip- …Maybe?

VF: YEAY!!!! –does a happy dance-

Tracey: -leans to whisper to Tiara- We'll help you.

Tiara: Alright. –she glances around- What happened here?

Sarah: Spike came around and…

VF: SPIKE?! WHERE!?

Tiara: -understanding- I see.

Tracey: -looks around- …How are we supposed to interview with this place looking like this?

Tiara: Hm, I know.

-They all look at her-

VF: Oo, does Tiaraness have an idea?!

Tiara: -beams- How can you tell?

VF: 'Cuz Sarah is holding a light bulb over your head and it's on. –nods knowingly-

-Sarah gives an 'oops' look and puts the bulb away-

Sarah: Couldn't help it, heh. ^_^

Tracey: …Anyway.

Tiara: Yeah, exactly. Anyway, I figure…this is a fic right?

Tracey: Apparently.

Tiara: So why can't the author just magically through the forces of her typing fingers make it all clean.

Tracey: …Seems like a plausible idea.

-Suddenly the whole room, like magic, is clean, and there's even a flower pot on the desk…for some weird reason.-

VF: -giggles- Nice touch.

Sarah: HEY! MAKE RAVEN MAGICALLY APPEAR!

-Suddenly a big guy in a raven suit (the bird, mind you), appears. They all stare at him-

Suit guy: What the fuck are youse looking at? –he takes a drag of his cigarette-

Tracey: -makes a face- …I think we've quite possibly found someone who is worse then the real Raven.

Sarah: -to the ceiling- …Not A raven…THE Raven!

Tiara: Should have specified…

Sarah: Damnit Tracey, your real self is just as bitchy as your self here!

Tracey: -beams- Duh.

Suit guy: -sits in a chair- Er…caw…cluck…

Sarah: He doesn't even sound like him! –pouts-

-Suddenly a kilt pops on the suited guy-

Suit guy: …Why am I wearing a skirt?

Tracey: ^^; It's a kilt!

Sarah: -annoyed- NOT FUNNY!

VF: Hey, make Spike appear!

-A spike appears in VF's hands. Looks a little like a stake, yanno, Buffy-style.-

VF: Aw, this isn't Spike, but what a cool toy!

-VF starts chasing the suit guy around with it-

Suit Guy: AHH! What the fuck?! –wheeze-

Tiara: You know, I think this whole thing is getting more and more off-balance.

Sarah: Or more insane.

Tiara: Same thing.

Sarah: True…

-VF continues to chase the poor kilt-wearing raven suit guy around with the spike as Tracey looks at the list-

Tracey: Rock is next?

Tiara: ROCK?!

Tracey: …Oh boy.

Sarah: Pretty funny how that happens, the time Tiara comes Rock is next?

Tracey: I'm just a figment of her imagination like you guys are, though yeah, it is a funny coincidence. Still, don't ask me.

Sarah: I'm not a figment! Hey, wait a second...if I'm a figment...that means I can be a MUSE!

All (yes, even the suit guy): O_O

Suit guy: …What's a muse?

Sarah: …Heh heh heh…-smiles evilly-

Tiara: -to Suit guy- Something that inspire someone to write a certain thing. In Sarah's case, it'll involve Raven.

Suit guy: -points to suit- …raven?

Tiara: No no. Not A raven…he's a guy, see.

Sarah: Bahaha. –starts to search for that magical muse bag-

Tracey: Ah, that's not advisable, Sarah…

Sarah: Molly and Raven…some Raven slash…I just need to find that muse bag…

Tracey: O_o;; VF, please…

VF: Righto! –beams and instantly through the magic of this fic (and oh, there is much magic), she instantly ties the still evilly smiling Sarah, who seems undaunted by being trapped-

Sarah: I know how to get to her now! A muse, huh?! Wait until I get out of these ropes. VF! VF! You can be a muse too! Imagine it…Spike! Lots of Spike!

VF: -perks up- …Eh?!

Tracey: -instantly tapes her mouth shut- Nothing at all, VF.

VF: -unsure- …Okay.

Tracey: …Hey…where did Tiara go?

-They all look around (Yes, even the suit guy. XD), but Tiara, beanie and all, was no where to be found-

VF: Y'know what THAT means, dontcha?

Tracey: What?

VF: With my weasel awareness, I would figure Tiara is outside clinging to Mr. Rock.

Tracey: …

VF: He's probably dying of lack of oxygen.

Tracey: …

VF: Tracey?

Tracey: How long does it take to die of lack of oxygen?

VF: TRACEY!

Tracey: WHAT! I don't like Rock. -_-

Suit guy: Killing people is fun.

-The three look at him strangely-

Suit guy: What?

VF: -raises stake again- BACK TO WORK! XD

-VF goes back to chasing the suit guy around.-

Voice (O.C.): -muffled- Who in the bluf hel are youf?

Tracey: Fine, I'll save him.

-Tracey sighs, walking out of the room. After a loud Tiara screeching sound, Tiara stomps in to the room and on camera pouting. Soon afterwards, Tracey walked in glumly, Rock behind her. He seems agitated for obvious reasons-

Tiara: Roccckk! –sighs happily-

Rock: -repeating- Who in the BLUE HELL are you people? The Rock says…

VF: -stops- Wow, you'd think after losing oxygen for a while he'd let go of his hot air.

Rock: -annoyed- Listen to the Rock when he talks to you.

Suit guy: -hides behind Rock- …She's trying to kill me!

Tracey: The guy needs to go.

-Suddenly the suit guy disappears. VF whimpers, lowering her spike-

VF: AW. I was jes playing with 'em.

Tracey: Ahem. Rock, we just want to interview you.

Tiara: I don't!

Tracey: Okay, besides Tiara, we want to interview you. She…well…

Tiara: -sits with an odd smile-

Tracey: …Yeah. Anyway, let's make this as painless as possible.

Sarah: I'm going to get out of these ropes, JUST YOU WAIT!

Rock: -Raises eyebrow-

VF: -sniffles- I'm bored now. –plops down-

Tiara: -suddenly clings to Rock's leg- I LOVE YOU!

Rock: Get this roody poo candy ass off my leg!

-He starts hopping around on one foot, trying to hit her off. Tiara doesn't seem to want to let go any time soon-

VF: …Wonder how much candy would it take to make an ass. Hm.

-A bulb lights up over VF's head-

VF: …SARAH!

Sarah: WHAT! I'm tied up!

-VF looks behind her to see Tracey standing there this time. She gives a half-grin-

Tracey: Sorry. –puts light bulb away-

VF: XD I'm gonna make a candy ass!

All but VF: o_o;;;

VF: WEE!

-VF runs around, picking candy up that suddenly appeared-

Tracey: …I really need new co-hosts.

Tiara: Y'know, Rock…

Tracey: Let's just interview, shall we? –looks around, realizing no one is in any condition to interview with her- …Talking to myself, I guess.

VF: MUAHAHAHA! –making her sculpture-

Sarah: You can't keep me tied up forever!

Tiara: Mine! –cuddles his leg-

Tracey: -deadpan- How does it feel to be the people's champion?

Rock: The Rock says that it's the most ELECTRIFIYING EXPERIENCE…

-Out of no where, Ocy pops into the room and shocks Rock with some kind of voltage machine. Tiara lets go just as he starts shaking from the charges. He falls over-

All but Rock: OCY?!

Ocy: XD Electrifiying! –giggle-

Rock: -twitches-

Tracey: I think you killed him!

-Tracey kicks him lightly with her foot. He just twitches again-

Tiara: -wails- ROCK!

Ocy: …Oops? HEY! A CANDY ASS! :D

-Ocy skips over to VF, who is still busy with his masterpiece-

VF: Innit cool?!

Ocy: Yep yep!

Tracey: …How many years do you think we'll get for killing a wrestler?

Sarah: I think we should be more worried about the millions and millions of the Rock's fans.

Tracey: But most of them are just whiney little kids.

Sarah: And rednecks!

Tracey: …Yes, and rednecks.

Tiara: HEY!!!

Tracey: Oh, and then there are people like Tiara. Who isn't either of that since she can kill me.

Sarah: Exactly.

Tiara: I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

-Tiara instantly runs at Ocy, who blinks before taking off-

Ocy: GACK! OUTTA ME WAY!

-As she runs past them, she steps on Rock's still twitching body. Tracey and the still tied up Sarah just watch in utter shock-

Tracey: …We are in deep shit.

Sarah: You aren't breaking the law if you aren't caught. Let's dump his body somewhere.

Tracey: Okay, Sarah. You can pick up the huge man. 

Rock: -groan-

Tracey: He's alive!

VF: TRACEY TRACEY LOOK!

-Suddenly VF bounds over with a heavy ass-shaped candy substance. Suddenly Ocy runs by and causes VF to drop the candy. It plops right on one of Rock's arms. He instantly recoils, crying out in pain-

Tracey: VF!!! O_O

VF: …Oops?

-Tiara and Ocy stop to watch with everyone else the view of Rock crawling out of the room. Sarah finally frees herself of the ropes but doesn't really do anything but stare as well.-

Tiara: …I'll help you, Rock!

-Rock gets out the door and Tiara follows him. Tracey just sighs and shakes her head-

Tracey: I'm glad my real self didn't put the word 'interviewing' in the title of this story.

VF: Oh, poop. My masterpiece!

-She kneels in front of it and starts to wail-

VF: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Ocy: …CANDY!

-She starts happily eating it. VF stops screaming, shrugs, and starts eating too-

Sarah: …I'm free! Why was I tied up again?

Tracey: No clue. 

Sarah: …Oh well. I think that went well!

Tracey: -turns to look at her- How could you say that? We didn't even ask one question, and Ocy shocked him, stepped on him, and VF dropped a heavy candy-made ass on his arm! I think we're in for a lawsuit!

Sarah: We've been asking for one forever. We did kidnap a large amount of people, after all!

Tracey: …When you put it that way…

VF: Hey Ocyness, wanna be a host too?!

-Sarah and Tracey instantly turn around to see them still gobbling candy-

Ocy: OKAY!

Sarah and Tracey: O_o

VF: YAY! XD

Tracey: …We're never going to interview again, are we?

Sarah: Not likely.

Tracey and Sarah: -sigh-

-Sarah moves to the camera, and the last thing on the screen before fading out is the two new hosts finishing their sugary meal- 


End file.
